For an entire week, our bedroom floor was coated with cashew pieces. There isn’t a good reason why they stayed there for a week…other than the fact that I had a negative amount of time left in my day. But, I can explain how they got there. I used to be that person who unpacked upon walking in the door. Put everything away nice and neat…in its “home.” Now, items will be unpacked as I need to use them, and no sooner. My luggage lay on the floor opened for easy access to not only me but Simon as well. He sniffed out, tore open, scattered and munched on a pound of cashews contained not so securely in a ziplock baggie. At first my concern was Simon getting sick over gorging himself, so I strategically placed clothes and other objects to keep him out. I’m blaming the lack of sleep as to why I thought that would work. After crunching and grinding them beneath our feet day and night, Keith finally gave in and cleaned up the remaining few cups at the end of the week.
One day I needed to sit down and do nothing. Ten minutes was all I wanted. I had to lure and contain them with something for my mini-hiatus. Snack time! Popcorn, cheese crackers, even cookies. I was desperate. I did get to sit down, but my plan backfired. Half the kitchen floor was covered with their edible remnants. Let me say I've given up on being a clean freak; however, I was determined to vacuum. Now I wasn't too ambitious. Just wanted to get downstairs done. I had to find something else (besides food) to occupy them while I vacuumed. I set the kids' table up for watercolors: paper, water, paint and a brush for each. But before I even got out and plugged in the vacuum, they had produced enough masterpieces to plaster the entire frig, and they were over that activity. By the time I finished vacuuming, I'd had to shuffle the kids through 5 different craft stations and now needed to clean up that evidence. This was all because I wanted…needed…to sit down and do NOTHING. For 10 minutes!
I felt better physically and mentally after having Avery than I did upon our return home with the boys. In each situation I had been awake for about 2 days, but a baby is immobile and sleeps much of the day. Three-, four-, and five-year olds, however, have endless energy. Why didn't someone warn me about this?
Not only was I lacking 2+ days of sleep, but add to that jetlag of the 7-hour time difference and 3 kids to entertain. Exhaustion was an understatement. I was so tired our second full day home that I was physically nauseated from it. I knew my brain wasn’t working when I found myself shaking each egg before cracking it. Then I kept noticing misplaced items. And, it was I who misplaced them!!! I hung my hair towel on my hand towel hook. Gasp! I’m not sure I have ever hung a towel in the wrong spot before.
For the first several days I ate burned scrambled cheesy egg whites because I kept forgetting my breakfast cooking unattended behind me while I made pancakes for the kids. I was committed to making breakfast for myself because the next chance to eat would be 3:00.
I have quickly realized that a daily swipe of deodorant isn't going to cut it for me. I've had to reapply in the afternoons just so Keith will sit next to me at dinner, and a few days I even had to change my shirt mid-day. So, I've gone from not exerting enough energy to necessitate deodorant…to this??? I'm going to have to start carrying a back-up stick right along with my lip gloss.
I’ve heard new moms say that their daily goal was a shower. I have officially given up on that. If my goal is consistently unattainable (as a daily shower would be at this point), I’m left disappointed. So, what is my daily goal? Brushing my teeth. Before noon. That’s it.
It sounds like my life is falling apart. Maybe it is for the time being. But, the kids are already falling into some semblance of a routine. And, while it is dim, there is a light at the end of this very long tunnel.