There's a Reason for My Hysteria

I finally picked up my copy of Bringing up Boys last night. If I was frightened by the thought of raising a boy a few months ago, I am horrified of them after reading the first few chapters. Really, horrified? At least I’m stricken with panic over it.

Within the first pages, Dobson sites a quote from Plato: “Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.” What?!!! So, it’s not my job as a parent to manage (i.e. control) my kids? Dobson uses words like audacious, excitable and TORNADO to describe them. He also references “their tendency to risk life and limb for no good reason” and that they “tempt the laws of gravity and ignore the gentle voice of common sense.” Great. But Keith thinks it’s AWESOME and that this combo is the perfect recipe for motocross stars in the making.

As a dear friend often reminds me, boys are “fearfully and wonderfully made” just as they are.

Let’s pause my soon-to-be real-life horror story for a moment.

This weekend when a friend walked in my door, I was at the sink doing dishes while Avery was at her little table folding washcloths and hand towels, a chore she’s been perfecting for the last 3 years. (By the way, she’ll be 4 tomorrow, and I can’t decide whether I’ll do a little dance to officially declare the end of the Explosive 3’s or cry because she’s already taking the attitude and tone of a teenager with me.) She wasn’t just folding towels to keep her little hands busy, and I don’t have to refold them before putting them in a drawer. That’s not something I can always say of the towels Keith folds. I’m just kidding. He’s not allowed to fold towels. (He is allowed to do the dishes and clean the bathrooms though. And, he does a way better job than I ever do!)

This moment will soon be a distant memory, like a dream. Not only did I complete my chores whilst my child was awake, but she quietly did hers as well. I almost hear symphony music in the background as I reminisce. What a glorious moment that will likely not happen EVER AGAIN once the boys get here.

My world, as well as my house, will likely be turned upside down. It will go from an environment that is generally quiet and calm to one that is loud and destructive. I will not have enough hands nor room in a buggy to take them to the grocery store or Target. The toys in the playroom will no longer be perfectly separated into organized bins and boxes. Gasp!

So, why am I so looking forward to the day we bring them home?

Love makes you do crazy things.

That’s really all the explanation needed, but I’ll go on.

Do you remember when you first fell in love with your spouse…or your baby? Because it’s not always love at first sight …with either of them. Just looking at him/her gave your tummy butterflies. And, you could gaze at him/her endlessly. You felt this person could do no wrong…ever. Again: Love. And, at least in the beginning love is blind. God does this to us on purpose. If we had seen all the imperfections that are later revealed, we probably wouldn’t have fallen into it in the first place. But isn’t falling in love worth every blemish?

There will be days when I very much do not like what they do. And maybe even days when I think to myself that I dislike them too. But, oh, how I will love them.

I am head-over-heels in love with these two boys. My Boys.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14


Our Court Date & 1st Meeting

One month from today we will appear in an Ethiopian court to be declared the parents of our two sons. Woo hoo!!! Although we have considered them our sons since the day our agency called, making it official in court means we’re one step closer to bringing them home.

What's even more exciting than our court date is that we'll also get to meet the boys on this trip. I'm actually a little nervous about this one. We've sent them pictures of us, but who knows what they think so far. They'll likely remember this meeting, so there's a little bit of pressure.

Just before Christmas we purchased tickets for our first trip to Ethiopia. I’m not excited about traveling for more than an entire day, but flight time equals reading time, so I’ll more than survive. Unfortunately, the boys have to wait 4-6 weeks from that point to leave the country...and that means a second trip to Ethiopia for us (and more reading). So, I’m banking on having them home by the end of March. This makes me sad because their birthdays are in March, and I was really hoping they’d be here for them. But, I rest in the fact that this is God’s timing and not mine.

What you can pray for:

  • Our court date.
  • The orphanage workers who are taking care of them and counseling them on this big change.
  • The attachment and bonding process we all will go through.
  • My sanity in all of this. I might need anti-anxiety meds by the end. The napkin from last night that’s still on the ottoman might push me over the edge this morning. I need to relax and relinquish the control I pretend to have.