Ethiopia: Day 4…Ah, The Weekend

A few people went shopping again. Another group went to some place with monkeys and hot springs. What did my sweet husband sign us up for? Work, of course. Ten years of marriage, so I should expect nothing less. Still, it’s Saturday for crying out loud!

Our labor site: Acacia Village, a foster home/soon-to-be everything else, run by our agency Christian World Adoption. Our labor: planting trees in the Ethiopian sun. Awesome.

When we arrived, I kindly asked if there was any task I could complete indoors so that my delicate skin could escape a scorching burn. So, while Keith planted trees, I sorted and folded at least a couple thousand pieces of children’s clothing in a stuffy room upstairs. I’m not complaining. I’ll take a lungful of dust any day over the pain of a sunburn that would likely hospitalize me. My only regret is that I left my ipod back in the room. We are so spoiled.

By the time our chores were completed, it was lunchtime. I had heard we would be served a traditional Ethiopian cuisine. Gulp. So I told them I wasn’t hungry. Turns out pasta is a staple here, and today it was spaghetti. The sauce looked iffy, so I went the safe route: dry noodles and bread.

Our driver was supposed to pick us up at 3, so Keith called to request he come at 2 since we finished early. Cars are a luxury here. People walk everywhere or take public transportation…blue and white vans, cars or 3-wheeled vehicles. They are the vast majority on the road. On the driving here, people are so friendly. If someone pulls out in front of you, it’s because he needs to cross that particular road, and you politely let him by slowing down or stopping your vehicle. Same for you. A line of traffic a mile long blocking you? That’s okay. Just go. They’ll stop. Pedestrians walk mere centimeters from speeding vehicles and never get hit. Well, I won’t say never, but I didn’t witness any. Also, no traffic lights or signs of any kind, including speed limits. What? But, no one gets road rage. They just go with the flow, literally. They’d never make it in the U.S.

We have drivers hired by our guest home or agency. Either way, communication is always run through a 3rd, 4th or 5th party to make arrangements. And, time is all but meaningless here, so we weren’t really surprised that our van didn’t show up until 4. That’s right, 2 hours late.

Luckily we made it back for a dinner of cabbage and tiny, very chewy beef tip stir-fry plus rolls that should really be saved for a game of golf. I ate 2 and a half granola bars.

Ethiopia: Day 3...A Dose of Reality

I am fully rested and recovered from whatever plagued me yesterday. I hope the delicious smoothies and fresh fruits are helping with my hydration and are NOT what nearly took my life. I’ve decided my illness may have been caused by my using a toothbrush that had been rinsed under the faucet. A huge no no. The faucet, instead of bottled water...that the gals next door are even using to wash their faces. They are fun. A little crazy. But definitely fun.

Today’s agenda: visit #2 with the boys.

I brought with me the remaining toys from my suitcase, but this time I didn’t even bother to show them the books and puzzles. Just cars, balls and bubbles. I learn fast. However, the cars didn’t hold the same fascination as they did on Wednesday, so we were reaching for anything new. First, the laptop, which was nearly mauled to death by tiny, curious fingers. And, then we dug into the tubs of donations for crayons and coloring books.

Based on our time together, this is how I envision a typical day at home with the kids: Avery and Garrison sit quietly and contentedly at the table together coloring and playing with flashcards while I chase down Ivan who has absconded with half of their items and is now tearing through the house chunking things to and fro and overturning anything that could possibly make a bigger mess for me. Then, I spend their naptime magic erasing the walls and rainbowing the carpets. But I still can’t wait. Speaking of wait, we found out our wait time between the court appearance (where we are now) to the embassy appointment (our next and final step) could be 8-12 weeks!!! A few months ago, the span was just 2 weeks. Big Fat Bummer.

The boys are total opposites indeed, but so precious. We had arrived during their morning lesson, but the workers let them ditch to come play. Several of us kicked a few balls around outside until someone came around with a bike, which turned into the moment’s obsession. After lunch, Garrison latched onto Keith while I tucked Ivan in for his nap.

I’m going to HATE saying goodbye.

Ethiopia: Day 2…a.k.a. My Near-Death Experience

Nothing technically on the agenda for the day, so Keith arranged for the two of us to go help out at an orphanage/missions base run by our agency called Acacia Village. However, the rest of our group wanted to go shopping, so we blindly followed them. This group consisted of 8-10 adults with the same court date as us, our driver and our interpreter…and I use that term loosely, as we didn’t always understand him. So, even though we felt blind going into most of our ventures, at least we weren’t alone.

We did some shopping in an area known to the locals as the Post Office…very much like the market in Mexico or China. Same stuff, different store. We bought some gifts for the boys and a dress for Avery. Oh, I picked up some Ethiopian coffee pot earrings…you know, to represent the sacred ceremonial coffee that I so rudely denied.

I had felt sick all morning but chalked it up to the altitude. We’re about 8,300 feet here (fun fact: it’s the 3rd highest capital city in the world). No clue what Atlanta is (1,000 feet +/-100)¹, but the change totally kicked my butt. So, I assumed I had altitude sickness, extremely fatigued, parched and generally not feeling well. Later that afternoon something hit me, and I ended up in the bathroom unable to move a muscle. Seriously. I couldn’t open my eyes to see Keith or even open my mouth to convey to him just how near death I knew I was. Literally near death. When my nurse left me in the bathroom, I hoped he either went to call for help or at least was googling my ailment. Nope. When I eventually recovered, I found him checking email, oblivious to my dire condition. Thanks, Honey.

No clue what made me so sick. But, I figure it didn’t kill me, so I may as well eat the food, knowing if I do get sick again I’ll likely recover.

Speaking of the food, it hasn’t been as bad as I imagined. That’s saying a lot considering my standards. Nothing too Ethiopian. Spaghetti (no meat and way spicier than the norm), fried chicken (how much more American can you get?), French toast (which was deep fried in butter…Mmmm), seasoned potatoes and carrots. Not too shabby, especially considering I haven’t had to do any of the cooking.

¹ Note from Keith: All altitudes researched by him…and he calls me “scientific accuracy.”

Ethiopia: Day 1

We arrived in Ethiopia about 48 hours ago. After making our way through the chaos of the airport, including getting a visa, passing through immigration and customs, we made it to our guest house, courtesy of our hired driver who I was convinced was really one of the bad guys from the movie Taken and was merely driving us so he could find a deserted gravel road on which to secretly kill us.

As soon as we arrived at the guest house, we had just enough time to glance at our rooms before we were ushered back out to go meet our sons. (We had been told that wouldn’t happen until day 2 of our visit.) I was glad to be ambushed by the news because I didn’t have time to get nervous and lose a 3rd night of sleep in a row.

We were all a little timid as we began exchanging hugs and kisses. Tears streamed down my face until I realized a camera crew was catching all of my ugly crying face on video. We sat on a couch with them for some photos while I pulled out some items I brought for them. Books, a puzzle and a few matchbox vehicles. You know I don’t have boys at home because I ignorantly pulled out the books first, thinking they would entertain them.

We got to spend about 2 hours together, so we were able to follow them through a normal mid-morning day, including their lesson during which Garrison (the oldest) showed off his new tiny truck and gave everyone detailed instructions on all of its parts. After another play session between the four of us, we followed them to lunch of injera (kind of a soggy pita with a bean/corn mixture slopped on it). Their mealtime ritual is to pray in unison in English. Garrison volunteered to lead them on this day. There were probably 30 kids in a tiny room with windows all along one wall. Each sat at his/her place at the table or in the circle on the floor. No one squirmed to get up or fussed that the food wasn’t up to his/her liking. Awesome.

One of their customs is this coffee ceremony where they roast the beans on a flame that they start with basically just rocks and a fan. A woman generously performed this when we arrived…to which I declined thinking it was just regular coffee. Big mistake. She looked at me as if I had just shot her dog, so the photographer stepped in and said he’d love it and Keith took the other. I immediately regretted my decision because it was amazing coffee. Thick like espresso and almost naturally sweet.

We took them outside because they were being typical boys, throwing balls in the living room. Ivan (the little one) had thrown his into the ceremonial coffee station. Another father saved the day by giving me a bottle of bubbles, and the boys acted as if it was their first time to ever see them. It was so much fun! We have a lot of firsts to experience with them when we all get home. I can’t wait!!!

There's a Reason for My Hysteria

I finally picked up my copy of Bringing up Boys last night. If I was frightened by the thought of raising a boy a few months ago, I am horrified of them after reading the first few chapters. Really, horrified? At least I’m stricken with panic over it.

Within the first pages, Dobson sites a quote from Plato: “Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.” What?!!! So, it’s not my job as a parent to manage (i.e. control) my kids? Dobson uses words like audacious, excitable and TORNADO to describe them. He also references “their tendency to risk life and limb for no good reason” and that they “tempt the laws of gravity and ignore the gentle voice of common sense.” Great. But Keith thinks it’s AWESOME and that this combo is the perfect recipe for motocross stars in the making.

As a dear friend often reminds me, boys are “fearfully and wonderfully made” just as they are.

Let’s pause my soon-to-be real-life horror story for a moment.

This weekend when a friend walked in my door, I was at the sink doing dishes while Avery was at her little table folding washcloths and hand towels, a chore she’s been perfecting for the last 3 years. (By the way, she’ll be 4 tomorrow, and I can’t decide whether I’ll do a little dance to officially declare the end of the Explosive 3’s or cry because she’s already taking the attitude and tone of a teenager with me.) She wasn’t just folding towels to keep her little hands busy, and I don’t have to refold them before putting them in a drawer. That’s not something I can always say of the towels Keith folds. I’m just kidding. He’s not allowed to fold towels. (He is allowed to do the dishes and clean the bathrooms though. And, he does a way better job than I ever do!)

This moment will soon be a distant memory, like a dream. Not only did I complete my chores whilst my child was awake, but she quietly did hers as well. I almost hear symphony music in the background as I reminisce. What a glorious moment that will likely not happen EVER AGAIN once the boys get here.

My world, as well as my house, will likely be turned upside down. It will go from an environment that is generally quiet and calm to one that is loud and destructive. I will not have enough hands nor room in a buggy to take them to the grocery store or Target. The toys in the playroom will no longer be perfectly separated into organized bins and boxes. Gasp!

So, why am I so looking forward to the day we bring them home?

Love makes you do crazy things.

That’s really all the explanation needed, but I’ll go on.

Do you remember when you first fell in love with your spouse…or your baby? Because it’s not always love at first sight …with either of them. Just looking at him/her gave your tummy butterflies. And, you could gaze at him/her endlessly. You felt this person could do no wrong…ever. Again: Love. And, at least in the beginning love is blind. God does this to us on purpose. If we had seen all the imperfections that are later revealed, we probably wouldn’t have fallen into it in the first place. But isn’t falling in love worth every blemish?

There will be days when I very much do not like what they do. And maybe even days when I think to myself that I dislike them too. But, oh, how I will love them.

I am head-over-heels in love with these two boys. My Boys.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14

Our Court Date & 1st Meeting

One month from today we will appear in an Ethiopian court to be declared the parents of our two sons. Woo hoo!!! Although we have considered them our sons since the day our agency called, making it official in court means we’re one step closer to bringing them home.

What's even more exciting than our court date is that we'll also get to meet the boys on this trip. I'm actually a little nervous about this one. We've sent them pictures of us, but who knows what they think so far. They'll likely remember this meeting, so there's a little bit of pressure.

Just before Christmas we purchased tickets for our first trip to Ethiopia. I’m not excited about traveling for more than an entire day, but flight time equals reading time, so I’ll more than survive. Unfortunately, the boys have to wait 4-6 weeks from that point to leave the country...and that means a second trip to Ethiopia for us (and more reading). So, I’m banking on having them home by the end of March. This makes me sad because their birthdays are in March, and I was really hoping they’d be here for them. But, I rest in the fact that this is God’s timing and not mine.

What you can pray for:

• Our court date.
• The orphanage workers who are taking care of them and counseling them on this big change.
• The attachment and bonding process we all will go through.
• My sanity in all of this. I might need anti-anxiety meds by the end. The napkin from last night that’s still on the ottoman might push me over the edge this morning. I need to relax and relinquish the control I pretend to have.

Giving Thanks + a Picture

On the morning of Thanksgiving, we received news that our documents have been submitted to court. Woo Hoo! Although I have no idea what exactly that means in the workings of the adoption process in the Ethiopian court system, I am still super excited. Mainly because we were also told that we will likely have a court date in February. Okay, now I can do it. Woo Hoo!!!

The tree is up. Finally. With one lonely ornament hung by Avery. She sweetly tucked it in the very back as if she were hiding an Easter egg. This is the first tree she has ever seen put up in our home. Sad, I know. And, as there wasn’t time for the actual decorating before bed, she insisted that we at least put the star on. So, Keith hoisted her up as she attempted to attach it. Of course, I yelled at him to put her down while I grabbed the camera. This is a first that must be recorded.

Sorry. Were you expecting a picture of the Boys? It really is against the rules.

The stockings are hung with care. Just 3 for now. The only hold-up on hanging the other 2 is that I'll have to purchase 2 additional stocking hangers at the full BEFORE-Christmas price. That’s just not how I generally operate. However, Avery is already saving seats for the boys at her table, and I'm sure she will protest. I'll go to Target today.