Boys…Will Probably Be Boys

I went into the used bookstore a few days ago looking for general parenting/discipline books. I need help. Friends, feel free to give me advice…and consider this my official solicitation for it. At the bookstore, I found 3 titles that had actually been recommended or referenced in other readings. The first on my list: Bringing Up Boys by Dobson.

Our only child is indeed a girl, and we haven’t received news that would tell us we’re getting a boy. That news would come by way of a document called a “referral.” Basically the announcement that says, “It’s a Boy!” Or whatever. Included in this document would be all available information related to our children…physical stats, their given name, family info if known, circumstances involved in their abandonment and their lives since then, orphanage or foster care, etc. Oh, yes…and a picture!!!

Why did I buy a book on raising the male gender when I have no assurance I will ever get one? A few months ago I would have made the purchase based on Wishful Thinking. My recent purchase was based on knowing that the best thing God could do for me would be to give me a son. “Best” in the previous sentence refers to the change that would likely begin as insanity and hopefully lead toward sanctification.

I am nearly frightened enough by the thought of a son to pray: “Please, God, don’t send me a boy!” But, I’ve actually always wanted a son…and oh, how I hoped Avery would be him! I just couldn’t believe the technician when she assured me for the dozenth time that she was indeed a girl.

While I grew up with a sister, my childhood best friend had a younger brother. Jealous may be too strong a word for what I felt, but I was definitely envious. (Wait, I am pretty certain those are synonyms.) These siblings never seemed to fight over the petty things that drove us apart. The younger brother also thought the WORLD of his mother, and rightly so (she is AMAZING). I guess I’ve always assumed that if I had a son, he would think the same of me.

Why am I all of the sudden terrified of having a son? Besides the fact that I would have no clue what to do with him, I have recently had opportunities to spend “quality” time with some of my friends’ children. These boys didn’t do so much damage that they’re not welcome anytime. I have just seen some of what a boy is capable of.

I still LOVE these boys I know…and I still want one of my own. I just need to get prepared. Mentally prepared if nothing else. So, I’ve put Bringing Up Boys at the top of the continuously growing stack of books I will begin immediately upon receiving a referral. For now, I am just going to nervously glance at it, knowing what is likely in store for me. God knows what is “best” for me…and it just might be a boy, or TWO!!!


  1. Great book! I borrowed it a few years ago and am actually going to ask for it for Christmas this year so I can officially start putting it into practice or understanding. Good luck!

  2. I read this after your previous post... I think it's hilarious how God works! ;) I love you and your heart so much. Thank you for your honesty and sharing as you grow as a woman, mom, and wife! ;) Love you!

  3. Michael "Catalyst freak" CampbellOctober 13, 2010 at 11:52 AM

    You just spent to much time around Scott and Ethan... Not all boyz are as bad as a RAWLINGS...

  4. Jessica, when I found out I was having a boy I was teaching a sixth grade class with SEVEN rambuctious boys and five sweet girls. I would look at those boys running around the playground like banshees and wonder what I had gotten myself into. But Luke, of course, is precious beyond words. And, yes, he is more energetic than my friends' daughters, but he is also sweet to his "momma." And the mothers of those seven boys? They all assured me that no one loves you like your little boy. They were excited for me! I'm excited for you, too, Jessica!