Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts

1.22.2012

Growing Like a Weed

So, I wrote this on the morning of January 18th, then let Keith (the blog police, the self-imposed filter...because I do not have one.) read it. I'm finally posting it, 4 days later, now that we are in agreement over the censorship of the first paragraph.

Today I am taking my little girl out for her 5th birthday. Man, oh, man. Can’t believe it’s been 5 years. Bringing her home is still so vivid in my mind. What’s even more a stain in my memory is getting out of bed that first morning in the hospital when my bladder forgot its job. As soon as my feet hit the floor, so did about a bucket of urine. Gross, huh. I wasn’t embarrassed. No. I was mad. Mad that not one of my girlfriends, in all of their birthing stories, had warned me about this. No one had mentioned the complete lack of control I would experience after having delivered the, um, conventional way. (I hesitate using the V word, as I have seen it makes even some women uncomfortable. I don’t have a problem with it. To me it’s just the name of a body part.)

On the other hand, I can believe it’s been 5 years. I have watched first hand as most of it happened. Warning: I may get on my soapbox in a moment. Staying home, for the most part, has afforded me the opportunity to not only see all of those clichéd firsts, but also to just enjoy being a mom, which I’ll admit took some learning…the enjoying it part. Babies can be boring. There, I said it. Definitely less exciting than co-worker drama. Plus, I’m a gal who thrives on conversation. Afraid my brain would go into hibernation, I filled our early days by sitting in my favorite chair…the one I’m sitting in now, which came from The Comfortable Chair Store, the one I hope to be sitting in when I’m 50…and doing my favorite activity: reading. From 10 Little Monkeys to What to Expect the First Year to Twilight. I would just sit and read to her. Perhaps my choice of books was a bit selfish at times, but the rest of parenting is selfless. Giving up friends, money, a lifestyle, sleep. Oh, the long lost sleep.

Giving up may be the wrong phrasing. Trading in is more appropriate. Traded in cable TV for slow-paced mornings of a sit-down breakfast with the kids and relaxing evenings with home-cooked meals, usually. Exchanged restaurant lunches for snuggle and story time before naps. Said goodbye to a great neighborhood and amazing backyard, but I have been able to (i.e. have no other choice but to) stop what I’m doing inside and play outside with them. Date night is sometimes with one of the kids instead of the hubs nowadays. Swapped the beautiful guest room for a useable playroom. In the end, or at least after 5 years, it has all been worth it. “Really, it has,” I convincingly tell myself.

Rushing out the door with the kiddos in the morning, getting them home with just enough time for the dinner-bath-bed routine…is there time to truly know your kids? No offense intended for the women who manage to maintain a full-time job on top of a family, but neither am I cut out for it nor can I even fathom how they do it!

My days are far from easy but are the opposite. Catastrophe has struck often before we even make it down for breakfast. On those days I absolutely want to hand them off to someone else to deal with, knowing their demeanor will likely change the moment they are without my presence. What’s keeping me from doing just that may be the control freak part of me that lies just below the surface with the need to ensure everything is done her way, or it may be the inherent caregiver part of me that has been repressed but knows the kids need her. Not her teaching. Not her cooking. Not even her discipline. But just her. Ugh, it is physically and mentally exhausting! Selfless, I tell you…at which I am no good.

For her birthday, Avery basically dictated her wish list to me: a unicorn pillow pet, chicken nuggets, walkie talkies, a few of those tiny princess dolls with rubber clothes to replace the ones her brothers broke, a little sister (which she later specified as a 4-year-old sister), red hair, a Flynn Rider doll (which may or may not exist). She didn’t just tell me once and trust that I would deliver. She recited her list daily, beginning on the first day of January. And, she told not only me but anyone she came into contact with, many times loudly naming the most important items on the list as if that would do the trick: “I’m getting a pillow pet and little sister for my birthday,” she would proclaim. Even her prayers went from thanking God for her brothers, family and friends to telling Him her birthday wishes as if He were Santa (although she never once mentioned wanting anything for Christmas).

Evidence of having brothers. Exhibit A: Snow White and Aurora. Dismantled.

All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put these tiny princesses together again.

With the help of grandparents, cousins and a few friends, most of her list was fulfilled. That baby sister is under discussion right now. It’s no secret. We want more kids. Indeed, we are crazy. We are dreaming of, asking for, pleading with God over another girl. And honestly I’d take two more. Girls that is. I’m pretty certain our grocery allowance cannot sustain another growing boy. Plus, at least 7 nights per week it sounds like the second floor is going to fall in on us at any moment.

Anywho, we are not planning on, and actually we are planning against, these little sisters coming from my womb. Please, please, God, no. Adoption is the way to go. If I get my way, a few things I won’t miss: gaining weight, driving to Northside Hospital every week, risking delivery from a vehicle, blowing out my pelvic floor, losing weight, breastfeeding, washing and sterilizing pump pieces all the livelong day, hauling around the combined weight of the infant carrier/carseat with infant in tow. I’ll stop there. Yes, we do want more kids. Kids, not babies. Let’s see what God gives us.

Back to Avery’s birthday. Boy, I can really get sidetracked. Maybe I have ADD. The plan for the day: lunch date at “chips and cheese,” a.k.a. any Mexican restaurant, shop for new undies (for Avery, Sicko, not me!), get nails painted, pick up one of her BFFs for a sleepover. And, that will have to suffice until we can grant her the rest of her list.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Avery.

10.08.2011

I Love Babies and All Things Related!

We have some big news to share.

Keith's vasectomy was scheduled for September 22nd at 4:30. Oh, I had looked forward to that day for so long.

Why the vasectomy? That is so drastic and permanent for a young couple like yourselves! Yes, I hear you. But, when we began our adoption journey early in 2009, we felt it was a call God had placed on our hearts and soon decided any future children we wanted we would attempt via adoption.

Yep, you got it. No more bio babies for us. And, that's A-okay with me. What's the big deal with having babies anyway? Nearly everyone does it. Oh, "miracle of life." Miracle? That's just the way God does it...makes humans...and pretty much all other species. I'm no scientist, but the creation and delivery of Avery and Simon were pretty much the same. Not to discount those or any creations...I mean, they were created by God...which is some pretty undeniable evidence of His existence. How you can be a witness to any birth and not believe there's a God is beyond me. But it's no Jesus walking on water or turning water into wine.

I know many of you want to come spit in my face for that, or at least never return to this blog, but don't get me wrong. I enjoyed pregnancy with Avery. No complaints...except that I got tired of people only asking me pregnancy and baby related questions. Yoo hoo, I'm still here! Seriously, it was like I disappeared. Plus, people with whom you've only spoken a few words are suddenly your BFFs simply because they too have pro-created. Gasp! A rare commonality.

If you are still reading, don't hate me. If I have friends left, I apologize for not being more concerned with your pregnancy. I do care. But, I would rather talk about you...or me. I honestly forget you are pregnant unless the event has been wretched. I just offered one of my prego girlfriends a glass of chocolate wine piled high with whipped cream...it's so delicious...and she patted her non-existent 4-month bump as her response. Oh, right.

Don't even get me started on babies. Sure, they're cute, squishy, not too heavy. I did enjoy all of Avery's baby-hood. At each stage I kept thinking how fantastic it was and that it wasn't possible to get better, yet it did. Meaning we are now having the best times ever! But, babies are a lot of work. Ugh! The worst part could be having to sit down to feed them. Oh, stinky diapers are nothing compared to having to sit...and wait...on a baby...to eat. Ahh! Some of them are so slow I want to rip my hair out in exasperation. Babies are still welcome in my house. We still have baby gates in place and the pack-n-play is oftentimes set up for a visitor.

Easy breezy 6-month-old Baby Penny hangs out with us all the time, or so it seems to me. That girl takes 45 minutes to eat! I endure it. I love her. Perhaps I endure it because I know she is one of my future daughters-in-law. I'm not just hoping. She is currently betrothed, in all seriousness, to one of our sons. It was the only way to ensure that the 4 of us parents remain bonded for a lifetime. Smart, I know.

Back to the vasectomy. Why didn't we schedule it two and a half years ago when we decided to close up shop? At that time, we felt that surgically prohibiting a chance for more biological children would be like slamming the door in God's face. Plus, I was scared that God's response would be a slap in my face with a positive pregnancy test. Like, I'll show you Who's boss.

For 2 years I have waited. Knowing, hoping, praying: no more babies, yet also facing the scary possibility that we might conceive. Eek! So, Keith was on board with the ole snip-aroo but quickly jumped ship when we decided to wait. He agreed: no more babies but wanted me to be the one to "get fixed." Uh, no. Since then, I have begged and pleaded and used every bargaining tool with Keith in my attempts to change his mind.

Then, August rolled around and I realized something. Gasp! I was pacing the floor, biting my nails, twirling my hair. We had given away all pregnancy and baby paraphernalia. Not one iota left in this house, except for those baby gates and that pack-n-play. The panic ceased when I found out I was anemic, hence the reason for my lack of blogging and picture posting this summer, but not before we had a big, fat pregnancy scare.

Guess what Keith did the very next day. Called a urologist. That's right. We both signed the papers and set that boy up for surgery. Woo hoo! I was ecstatic. Finally, no more worrying about babies, at least not from this womb. Praise God!

Last week, His perfect timing. During a conversation with a woman I deeply respect, the topic came up out of the blue. I received wisdom and counsel from this woman who had been there and done that.

My thoughts since that happenchance conversation?

God is in control of my childbearing. Do I trust Him? That's really the bottom line. But, should I do everything known to man in order to take the reigns in the situation? It would be like saying, "I know what's best for me better than You do." Children, including slow, stinky, high-maintenance babies, are a gift from God. And, Jeremiah 29:11 promises me a hope and a future...that God will prosper me and not harm me...even if He throws another baby at me.

So, what's the big news?

No, I'm not pregnant. Phew. We haven't decided to have more babies. Another good thing. I guess the news is that we cancelled the appointment 2 days prior to the scheduled surgery. Yep, no one is getting fixed right now...or maybe ever. That and also for the first time ever I have no idea what God's direction on my life is...AND I am at peace with not knowing. From the age of 10 I have wanted, demanded, God to lay it all out for me. That seems like the opposite of faith to me. Kind of reminds me of another woman who thought she just had to know everything. You might know her too. Eve.

I'm not driving this boat, so right now I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride...as much as I can. The job before me is raising children. He has entrusted to me human beings...3 so far. I guess if He wants to give me another messy, stinky, slow and very small one, I'll more than survive.

If you've stayed with up to this point, please don't come cuss me out. One of my BFFs beat you to the punch. Cussed me out and compared me to the woman on TV who's had 25 babies. I promise not to have 25 kids and endanger the lives of the babies and myself.

Last, if either of us "gets fixed," it will not be motivated by fear of pregnancy.

More pictures? You got it!

Obviously, Avery and I both got all of our hair cut off. I had said I would cut it 6 months after the boys came home...I made it 5.

I'm not sure what's more horrifying here: the broomish looking ends of my hair or my pasty white skin.

People keep asking me if I donated it. Maybe it's because they feel as if they have to say something and don't necessarily like it. They'll get used to it. Yes, all of the hair is being donated. My hair was divided into 4 pony tails...16 inches each. This was long overdue.

Before

After the 8-inch pony tail was cut off.

Here, stylist Mandy Bowley of Salon Serenity works on Avery's hair in her bathroom because it's her day off. I love Mandy. Besides being great at her job, she puts up with a control freak hovering over her shoulder and giving her confusing instructions from the stool.

Although I do love her new do, it wasn't my idea for Avery to cut her hair. She was inspired by my friend Courtney who just cut her short hair even shorter. Miss Courtney might be the most fun mom I know, which is probably the reason Avery loves her so much.

Mandy and her family, including son Cal pictured above, were our neighbors for 4 years. Cal, whom Avery has forced into countless princess dresses and marriage ceremonies, is one of her BFFs.

Ivan taking care of business.

I believe Garris could live on a bicycle.

5.19.2011

Next Time, I'm Staying With the Luggage

Moments before I even set foot outside the van at the airport, I knew I might be facing defeat. For boys don't wait patiently for adults to exit the vehicle before tearing past them. Perhaps it's the newness of it all, but they have basically gone through our first few days as if they're in the Indi 500, each vying for the #1 spot.

We all know the commercial airline experience moves at turtle speed, save the actual flight time. So these boys were pretty pissed...couldn’t understand why Mom and Dad would be such horrible people to make them wait.

I know what you’re thinking. But we embarked upon this journey well prepared...so we thought. I had a bag full of typical boy toys for each and a bag of various coloring/craft supplies for each. A bag of books, including several fun wipe-off kind and dry erase markers. Plus the emergency bag hidden in my carry-on loaded with sugary bribes, even though, for the record, that is against my parenting philosophy. Oh, and plenty of "night time" meds for their legitimate runny noses and coughs.

I was so naive.

I had to put the boys in Time Out before we even made it to the check-in line. While they had been running from us, T.O. wasn’t so much a form of discipline as a method to keep them in one place, plus keep me from running like the crazy mad woman I was. To clarify, they did know they were supposed to stay with us...not run away. So don't go thinking we're unfit. We're good people, whatever that means.

In the future, if we ever are insane enough to travel by air with more than one child, I am calling dibs on getting to stay with the luggage. Keith can have the privilege of chasing kiddos.

You get the picture. Every step of the way, the boys would attempt an escape, and we'd have to make them sit just to hopefully insure we all made it out of the country together.

The boys were of course sitting next to the wall in Time Out while Keith, who refused to let me help because I don't even know what the forms were and am incompetent with all important documents, filled out all 4 of the forms by himself. Sitting quickly turned to leaning, then sprawling, and finally swimming. All of this on the disgusting airport floor.

Now I am inexperienced with children wallowing in the dirt and grime of thousands of stranger's shoes. It's not just that Avery is merely aware that floors are dirty. She knows the varying degrees of floor dirtiness. While some floors are not clean enough for food, some are not clean enough for feet.

There is an entirely different set of floor cleanliness standards for boys. While I wouldn't have let Avery set a bare toe on that airport floor, I would have served the boys spaghetti directly on it. There wasn't an exposed inch of their bodies that didn't get some good contact time with that floor. And I was A-okay with it.

5.11.2011

Sweet, Sweet Words

"Full and final." Those are the sweet words we have waited to hear. This morning at the US Embassy after we verified some info about the boys' background, a worker behind a bank teller window said, "Your adoption is full and final." So awesome.

This post from here will cover just the basics: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

The Good

The question you are all dying to know is, "Did she get the French toast?" And I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat anxious for the answer, right? I could be a big tease and make you wait till the end of the post as I sometimes do, but I'll show kindness today. Yes, I did! And it was delicious... Buttery. Crunchy, not soggy. And pure deliciousness.

The entire way back from the Embassy, Ivan stood on his seat of the van with his head pressed against the window in his own little world singing religious Ethiopian songs, in Amharic and with that sweet soft voice of a three-year old. And although I was hungry, hot, sitting next to vomit (oh, keep reading), and clearly miserable, it was a great ride.

With some coercing from Beza (an Ethiopian from our agency), Garris performed a slew of songs and rhymes for the camera. Some Amharic and some English. Most were about Jesus, so despite my lack of talent, he seemed to enjoy my rendition of "Jesus Loves Me" at bedtime.

We've learned some Amharic and have been successful in some communication with the boys. The most important one right now is "Atincow," which means "Do not touch."

My favorite part of dinner: French fries! And really good ones. Better than McDonalds. I think they were cooked in butter with the French toast this morning. Mmm.

We are all bonding over countless games of ball. Any kind of ball. Tossing, throwing, kicking, rolling, bouncing...using any toy to hit it on the ground or in the air. Even though we start out playing together, Ivan and I usually end up to the side. We are those kids who aren't good enough to play with others, even a pretend game, and so they humor us by letting us have a ball and to play within a reasonable proximity. Possibly the best part of this: I've learned to catch a ball, at least the soft ones.

Keith's BFF from our last trip showed up as we were finishing dinner, and just in time for the ball games: Tikabe, the night time receptionist. He even had a bottle of Coke brought over for Keith.

The Bad

We had to separate the bunk beds so that both are at ground level. That's all I'm gonna say about that issue.

This is pre-separation. We also had to remove the ladder, which seemed to turn the entire structure into a make-shift playground.

Garris's shoes don't fit, although they're much bigger than the shoes he had on at the orphanage. After hobbling a few steps outside of the van, we let him go sock-footed to the Embassy and pretty much everywhere else today. Lucky for us the "No Shoes No Service" rule doesn't exist here.

Looks like American food may pose a problem for at least one of the boys. They both turned down the Ethiopian take of American food at lunch, even the yummy PB Cliff bars and honey roasted peanuts I offered them. Now who doesn't like some honey roasted peanuts? They taste like sugar! I'm in trouble. Ivan did try a few items at dinner and agreed with me on the fries. That's my boy!

The US Embassy stands out like a sore thumb. The biggest, the grandest, the greenest grass. It's ridiculous. Plus, after the final approval of this over-2-year process, a giant chunk of money, and enough paperwork to pile to the ceiling, we kind of expected a little more out of it. Not to toot our own horn, but we really deserve a standing ovation. Right? However, most of the people in the room didn't even speak English, and we returned to the other adoptive families and their quiet congratulatory cheering.

The Ugly. The Very Ugly.

Both boys got car sick on the hour-long trip to the Embassy. The ugly part: Garris thew up on himself and the seat next to him. He and I were on the front bench with Keith and Ivan in the second row. The part that nearly made me vomit was that he used his other hand to wipe the vomit off his arm, as if he didn't see the point in cleaning it off. Even now I want to vomit.

Although we all slept at least an hour at naptime, getting to that point was ugly. I ended up using myself as a barricade again, and Ivan fell asleep in his twisted position from playing in order to rebel.

The dire need for clean water here. We first noticed it when the boys would down any amount of water we put in front of them in a matter of seconds. It was like watching a teenager in a beer chugging contest, which I will admit to watching but not taking part in. We get 1 bottle per day per person but usually purchase twice that. This is our water for all day...we carry it everywhere we go: meals, when outside, when traveling, to use in the bathroom. They respond toward water as I assumed they would toward food. But food is plentiful. Water is not. To keep them from hoarding the water, I put all our water bottles in one place and showed them they can come get a drink of it anytime. However, I think it will be a while before they are comfortable letting go of their water.

All three kids have Camelbaks and Sippysleeves. Two items that are absolutely essential for us to function.

Perhaps even uglier were the kids begging for water outside our guest house. A boy and a girl, not much older than Garris, left their chore of gathering branches with their mother to join us for a random ball game. When they noticed my bottle, which basically never leaves my hands either, they asked for a drink. And kept asking. So Keith went inside and purchased a bottle (about a liter) for them to share. When we finished our game, they picked up their branches and dragged them behind their mother.

Garris stands over Keith at the bathroom sink and turns off the faucet after each time Keith uses it to rinse his hands, toothbrush or razor. Finally, someone might teach him not to waste water. I wish it could somehow make a difference in the lives of those little kids standing outside our guest house.

5.10.2011

No Returns or Exchanges

We have our boys!!! Woo hoo!!!

Picked them up this morning after some light paperwork and giant basket of popcorn at our agency. I don't mean to sound cliche, but they came running with arms open wide when they saw us. They are super! Super fun! Super energetic! Super sweet! We played together inside and out. Ivan realized his items aren't going anywhere, except with him, so he's loosened hs grip...but just a tad. They are both fascinated with buttons or anything electronic. I mean, what young boy isn't? But, Garris is certain he knows better than we do how to work things.

They were excited to see us, despite what this picture portrays. Maybe boys just don't like posing for photos.

My hopes of French toast were dashed when, after waiting an hour on breakfast and hearing a raucous of clanging that could only mean a special breakfast, the cook brought out my favorite injera bread masked as a quesadilla with small bits of chicken and cheese that was not thoroughly melted. I managed to down the contents of the bread but didn't dare attempt the bread itself. Keith, however, had liked the injera at the restaurant but this time had to mask it in PB and pineapple jam. He even mixed it in with the chicken and cheese. Vomit. The mango smoothies and coffee nearly made up for it though. I have requested my French toast for tomorrow. Gonna be a good day!

I am realizing today that I forgot many items I had seen the need for on our last trip. I did bring plenty of food, splenda and coffee creamer but completely forgot about the Parmesan cheese for the noodles, which are without fail served daily. Other items I forgot weren't necessities but gifts of benevolence. The women here are so nice and helpful. I had wanted to bring clothes, shoes and toiletries for them. I feel wretched over it and been scouring through what little I brought to see if there is anything to leave behind.

Communication between us and the nurse (whose English is the best of the current workers) didn't cut it, so we'll have to wait until Thursday's visit with the boys' counselor to ask all of our questions. The other kids and nannies came out and did a little farewell song and dance. Half in Amahric and half in English. By the time our driver arrived, the boys had already had lunch and ours was waiting on us at the guest house. Buttery rice and tiny veggie bits. That's it. Oh, and a giant pitcher of strawberry smoothies. You can guess what I had.

After donning some new outfits, we were doubtful about naptime but took a stab at it anyway. Both boys were sound asleep in a matter of minutes. But that was just a teaser, because after tonight's bath (which was the most fun by the way), wind-down and storytime, we physically worked for 20 minutes just to get them into a bed. Then another 15 minutes of deciding which bed to sleep in and whether or not to sleep alone or not. Long story...Keith moved the beds away from distractions, then I placed my body as a guard rail to keep Ivan in bed. I heard Garris settling, but Ivan literally fell asleep sitting up (strong willed?) and I gradually nudged him into a horizontal position.

Having a ball!

Before we left home, Keith and I discussed all of the lasts we were experiencing together with each other and with Avery. Like discussing just one child's day over dinner. But today we experienced many firsts. Absolutely too many to even list here. Okay, just one. We heard Ivan utter his first English word. And I squealed with delight! One, as in the number. Garris already knows a ton, respectively.

Well, Keith said I threw him under the bus in yesterday's update. I will attempt to redeem him today.

Let's see. He has done the vast majority of the work behind the scenes. Stuff I don't even have a clue about. Tonight he manned bathtime, scrubbed everyone and then showed them how to do it, too. I acted as his assistant fetching vital yet forgotten items such as soap, scrubbie and towels. And, even though he doesn't let me hold my own ticket, I have had my passport in my purse since we got here. Shh! I know he'll ask for "a visual" on it before we head to the Embassy tomorrow.

5.07.2011

It's Showtime!

Our Embassy appointment for the boys’ Visas is Wednesday and we fly out tomorrow: Mother’s Day. This will be the best, and most expensive, Mother’s Day gift ever. Keith definitely got off the hook easy this year.

We will arrive in Ethiopia on Monday morning and supposedly take custody of the boys right away. All of Tuesday, the entire day, we will be completing necessary paperwork whilst entertaining the boys. Wednesday go to the Embassy. Visas issued Thursday. Depart Friday night. If there are no hang-ups, we’ll have the boys home Saturday night. Home! Home! Home!

At the time we received news of our appointment, we had 4 days left on the clock. Keith decided this was a swell time to go on a business trip, i.e. a motocross riding adventure paid for by Yamaha. So, scratch 2 of the 4 days I just mentioned. Then, I’m not the only one who nests around here. Keith’s nesting just comes in a different form. An extreme form: shopping for, selling, or purchasing major items. From weeks 36-38 of my pregnancy, we were homeless. That’s right! Homeless. We had sold our house without a clue where we’d go. And then closed on it 2 weeks before closing on our current home. This time around? Keith has convinced me we’ll be saving money if he sells his gargantuan truck in order to purchase a higher occupancy vehicle. Because you know one tiny mini-van just isn’t enough for a family of 5...it looks like an Excursion will be in our future. The first day Keith was home to nest, he shopped for the new vehicle. Earlier today, our last day, I think I overheard him on the phone making a deal with a buyer for his truck.

I need to be packed and ready to head to the airport in less than 12 hours. Yikes! Twelve hours left of a household of 3 (and a dog). Twelve hours to soak up all of Avery I can. So, why am I taking time out to write this blog? Well, she’s not only sitting still but snuggled up next to me at the moment watching Diego…and his red-eyed tree frog friends, which I’m surprised she likes because she’s usually terrified of anything with red eyes: um, vampires. But only the bad ones, of course not Edward.

Twelve hours to pack for 4 people: Avery, Garrison, Ivan and me. At this point, Avery is 95% packed. The boys are 10% packed. I haven’t even started on my own things yet. Ugh! Plus, a load of laundry to do, need to vacuum the whole house, and dust downstairs. Oh, and a nap would be nice, too. What have I been doing since we got confirmation on our Embassy appointment and departure?!!! Apparently not enough.

5.03.2011

Hospital Bag

We were submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia 6 days ago. At this point, I should be packing my “hospital bag.” While I haven’t begun to make my own packing list (yep, I always make a list…big, big nerd), I have started throwing items for the boys into a suitcase next to my bed. Warm PJs, play clothes, toys to occupy them while in country and LOTS of activities and meds for the flight home.

That’s the part I’m dreading the most: over a day of travel with 2 boys. Ugh! My hands will be full with merely meeting my own needs, much less the needs of 2 other humans. Oh, the flight attendants took care of Keith during his illness last time. All I had to do was get out of the way. Let’s just pray that Keith is smart enough to avoid ice and dairy at the airport and, if not, he is at least conscious for this one, as opposed to remaining horizontal between bouts of vomiting.

My nesting was kicked into high gear this weekend. Saturday I cleaned out closets and rooms upstairs while perhaps unnecessarily “overseeing” Keith as he finished up the boys’ room. Then Sunday morning before church, I cleaned out and reorganized the kitchen cabinets and pantry. Yes, all before the 9 A.M. service. It’s insane, but I love purging! Getting rid of stuff I don’t use often enough to justify the space it takes up when not in use. Psychosis? No. But, I do enjoy this process so much that it often keeps me from taking part in other normal activities, i.e. sleep. But, I’m okay missing a few winks if the end result is that I can now find a paperclip in the kitchen “junk drawer.” Don’t be shocked. I do have a drawer containing various unrelated items. And, right now, the cord of my phone charger is hanging out of it. Don’t judge me.

I did take a little hiatus from my craze of freakish nesting insanity for a quick trip downtown to look for some earrings. The shop is literally named “Downtown Fashions.” Vague. I have avoided this place except for one quick peak for a hair bow years ago. However, it is now my new favorite local store. They basically sell accessories, hair products and wigs. Although the wigs and most of the accessories did not hold my attention, I did find aisle upon aisle of hair products specifically formulated for African American hair. Score!

The good news is the saleswoman helped me find the perfect product and brush for the boys…plus she gave me some super easy tips on styling and upkeep. Clueless is an understatement.

The bad news is that I’m pretty sure Avery now has either maliaphobia, the fear of wigs, or pediophobia, the fear of mannequins. She couldn’t really articulate which was scarier. And, since then she’s been having nightmares of mannequin heads from the event, informing me each morning of the bizarre images she saw when her ”eyes were closed.”

On his way out the door this morning, Keith told me that today would be The Day. Said he just had a feeling. But fear has kept me from thinking it would be this soon. Fear of the unknown. The unknown world of boys. And, boys who can’t even communicate with us! Well, his gloating began today at noon when we received an email that we have clearance for travel. Woo!!! Hoo!!! Clearance from the US Embassy for the boys to travel here. Home.

Keith gave them 3 possible dates we could appear at the Embassy. All of them are next week, but we are praying for Wednesday. Apparently he isn’t concerned with getting a cheaper flight. Just bringing our boys home.

4.28.2011

Nesting

Lately I’ve been feeling like I got hit by a bus. Plowed down actually. I’ve chalked this up to my pregnancy-induced insomnia. And, what does every expectant mother do in the middle of the night? Get up and do random chores. a.k.a. Nesting. I never actually WANT to clean my bathroom or fold 8 loads of laundry at 3 A.M., but I can’t help feeling compelled to do it. And, it’s not as if I stumble out of bed all zombie-like. No, I am like a machine…frantically scrubbing, polishing and reorganizing everything I can get my hands on. Again, this is at 3 A.M.! And, Keith, the sweet man, peacefully sleeps through all of it. Somehow my body instinctively knew we were getting close to the end though.

Two weeks ago (April 13th) we received the boys’ birth certificates, something that had to be filed for and created in Ethiopia because, of course, kids in orphanages don’t have them. These are such sweet documents: each includes a picture of the respective boy taken upon entrance to the orphanage. Makes me wish I could have been there that day to scoop them up and smuggle them home. Plus, the certificate reflects us as the adoptive parents and Kotrla as the boys’ last name. Actually, the names are listed as Kibru Keith Kotrla (Garrison) and Merihun Keith Kotrla (Ivan). In Ethiopia, or at least in the boys’ home region, the tradition is to use the father’s first name for a child’s last name. I’m guessing that’s why Keith’s first name appears as well. Otherwise, I’d be a little jealous.

Then more forms to fill out (the I-600). Thanks, Keith! You are the best filler-outer of government-required documents. Plus, a new procedure, notaries, signatures (in nearly our own blood), and a whopping fee for each child to go with said document.

An email on the 20th from our agency said we are only waiting on Garrison’s passport. With that, everything can be submitted to the US Embassy, the last and final waiting line to bring them home.

And, yesterday I walked around at work in a mixed cloud of excitement and horror after Keith called to tell me our documents were submitted to the Embassy. There is no way of knowing how quickly they will review cases, but we could hear back as early as next week. Gasp! At that time, they ask us for 3 possible dates we could appear at the Embassy, and they pick the actual appointment day.

We could be taking custody of our boys in as little as 2 weeks. Woo hoo!!!

Even though I can’t wait to devour them…and bring home just the scraps, I’m okay with these last few weeks of waiting. Even if it drags on a little longer. I felt the same way when I was at the end with Avery, and I begged my doctor to let me go up to 2 weeks late. It’s absurd, I know. We had moved into our house literally 2 weeks before my due date, and I was insanely hauling giant boxes upstairs and cracking the whip at Keith to do more difficult tasks. By God’s mercy on my mental well-being, I finished unpacking and putting everything away just 12 hours before checking into the hospital...4 days late.

Right now, in my haste to get things in perfect order before adding 2 kids to our household, I really want to consume as much as possible of the current members of this family. I have a date with Avery tonight: Chick Fil A, the library and a treat from the ice cream truck. And, an overnight trip with Keith would indeed be a treat for me. Hint, hint. Oh, Simon? Let me just say that Keith is jealous of our nightly make-out sessions. I think I’ll save the nesting for my moments of insomnia and keep the waking hours for my family.

Here they are...just a few things we've been up to:


Avery got a Big Girl Bike.


Getting ready for the day...and doing a great job at it!


Helping wash the van with our neighbor.


This shot is from our church picnic 2 summers ago. No reason it's appearing here other than they are super cute together...and it somehow ended up in the same folder as the others I posted.

3.10.2011

Introducing...

Finally, the post you’ve all been waiting for.

Not that one. It sounds like we still have 4-6 weeks left of waiting.

We have been approved by the Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MoWA) in Ethiopia as the parents of our boys. We appeared in court. They appeared in court. More documents were gathered and submitted. We heard news of another postponement because of the looming government shutdown. And, another delay because MoWA is trying to change regulations, which would result in an approximate 90% reduction in the number of adoptions processed per day. These regulations were supposed to go into effect today, March 10, 2011.

By the way, our letter was supposed to be processed March 11, remember?

I received a call this morning informing us that our case was processed a day early and MoWA has given its letter of approval.

What does this mean?

Tada!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our Gorgeous Boys!

This is actually one of the first pictures we received, the day of our referral.

I’m going to sit back and breathe a sigh of relief for a few moments and just post some fabulous photos. Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking up to Big Brother.

Garrison Edward

Ivan Patrick

First Family Photo

Only Avery and Simon missing now.

3.06.2011

The 411 on Ethiopia…Who Needs Google?

As I encounter friends and acquaintances, I keep hearing the same questions: How was Ethiopia? What were the boys like? What’s next? Does anyone know where they can get that info? You guessed it…this here blog! I’m pretty sure I detailed all 6 days. Oh, you don’t like to read? Well, I don’t like telling the same stories again and again and again and again. I know a lot of people. And, they are all curious. I only enjoy retelling stories in which I am nearly killed (or being ignored while in the midst of it).

Oh, you read the blog and still have questions? I have the answers. Anything more you want to know about Ethiopia can be found in this post. Wow! Right? You are welcome. Now, don’t go checking my facts on Google. I was there. Let me tell my biased story. And, by continuing to read this post, you are agreeing not to comment, email or tell me of any inaccuracies. Agreed? Oh, and feel free to skip to just the questions you want answers to.

What was the plane ride like?
Never ending. Going there was 7 hours on one and 14 on another, with a 4-hour layover. Great movies, not-so-great food, really cute uniforms for the flight attendants. Oh, and they gave us a tiny bag with an eye mask, toothbrush/paste, and socks. How sweet. Coming back? Our flight was canceled, so we were rerouted after a 4-hour stay in the business class lounge. Flight time was something insane like 17 on one and 12 on another. Not as nice on the way back, but that could have more to do with the fact that Keith started throwing up before we even took off. He wasn’t so careful with the free (yet still Ethiopian) lounge food and drinks.

What was the airport like in Ethiopia?
Scary. Small. Not so thorough. In general, a madhouse. Plus, a strange woman kept asking me if I needed help locating and collecting my bags. I continued to assure her that my very strong husband, who was lost in the mass of people and bags, would indeed take care of it. And, before the return flight, there was a power outage at 10:00 at night. We sat in the dark for several minutes because apparently there was no back-up generator for issues like this. Again, scary.

Where did we stay? What is a guest house?
Our choice was between a hotel and a guest house (Ethiopian Guest House), which is really a bed and breakfast. Keith was going to get a hotel because his biggest fear of the entire trip is that I would offend someone who offered me food. But on trip #2, we have to stay in a guest house if we want the boys with us while in the country. Ours was awesome. For Ethiopia. Our room had a bed and 2 night stands. Plus, Keith sprang for our own bathroom. All I could imagine at the thought of guest house is the part in the European Vacation movie where people keep walking in on each other in the common bathroom. Yikes. After surveying the rest of the people we met and traveled to and fro with, I’ve concluded that we had the best guest house Ethiopia has to offer. And, we will go to this exact place next time. We loved their staff. And, the cook didn’t mix all the food together, as the cook did in another guest house. My food is not allowed to touch.

What else can you tell me about the boys?
Well, they’re great. It’s hard to make an accurate observance in the few hours we spent with them. Things will change, some for the better and some for the worse, once they get home. Both are super sweet even though they seem to be total opposites. A few things I didn’t mention before: Ivan turned into a spaghetti noodle when anyone picked him up. Typical. But I’m not sure I’ll get to sit down when he’s around. He seemed to enjoy taking other kids’ toys and either running with them or throwing them more than he enjoyed actually playing with toys. Garrison knows some English. Counting, animals, colors. He initiated playing with and naming items on flash cards…I assume because it’s the only way he could communicate with us. One day while sitting on the rug, he gently took a chunk of my hair and braided it. He may be helping Avery get ready while I chase down and wrestle Ivan into his clothes.

What about their background?
We know as much as there is to know. And honestly, we’ve told as much as we’d like to tell. Our original plan was to share their information once they are here and no longer Ethiopian citizens. However, we’ve decided to wait and let the boys themselves share any information as they wish to. Knowing their background, whether good or bad, could influence your perception of them. That can’t be undone. I wouldn’t want to be in the position in which everyone knows all about me, before even I do, and without my consent. We hope you understand.

What was the country like?
We spent most of our time in areas surrounding the capital Addis Ababa with one trip to court (minus the airport). The majority of people were on the lower end of the income spectrum, with a smaller number of people living or working in the city on the other end. Outside the city there are entire towns of mud houses with either straw or metal roofs. Everything was hidden behind gates, most of which had guards. Our guest house, the orphanage, any space not taken up by a little shop. All behind a gate, concrete or metal wall. Oh, and very dry. My hair loved it!

What language do they speak?
The national language is Amharic (which written down looks very intimidating and a lot like Chinese), but each region has its own language or dialect (again, like China). Plus, any educated person has had English. Not like here where we take the required 2 years of a foreign language and barely know how to say hello, which is actually thanks to Dora. They take it for years, starting very young. Basically, if you want a good job, you learn enough English to be conversational. Our kids first learned their regional language, some Amharic and even less English. But, the language barrier is way down on my list of concerns.

Wait, you just said everyone learns English in school, right? So, they all speak some English?
Not so fast. I said in a previous blog that not all kids go to school, for various reasons. See “A View From Ethiopia.” Many of them are spent by the time they get home from fetching water miles away. So walking more miles to school? Not so important.

Were you ever scared? What’s the crime rate?
With the exception of thinking our first driver had stepped out of the movie Taken, we felt pretty safe. We had been told the only thing we have to worry about is pick-pocketing when in public, plus the general being swindled at the airport or when shopping.

What’s the weather like?
Although Ethiopia is basically on the equator, it’s also something like 8,500 feet. I will admit a slight inaccuracy as Keith looked it up last time. So, the weather is a perfect sunny and 75-80 during the day. A bit chilly early in the morning or at night, like 60. Oh, someone mentioned their rainy season. Maybe June to September or June and September? I heard one thing and Keith claims he heard the other. But, either way, sounds like a monsoon. Rains and pours on and off all day.

What are the people like?
Awesome. Everyone was super nice to us. Almost everyone. The day I had my near death experience and shortly before my insides were ripped out of me, I was sitting outside a little shop and a homeless man invaded my personal space. Rudenesss. Keith came to stand behind me protectively, but the guy just didn’t take the hint. So, a guard (a small girl in a not-so-professional looking brown uniform) threatened him with a big stick. That worked.

On the subject of guards, I'm guessing the qualifications for the position are 1) a stick and 2) the, um…guts…to use the stick. In the case of a bank, you’ll need a stick and a very long shotgun, plus a good attitude to pace back and forth just outside the front doors all the livelong day.

Back to the people. Seriously, they were great. I felt strangely at home there. Keith even ventured out by himself one day while I took a nap. Walked down the street and bought a locally brewed beer for 45 cents. How great is that? The only thing we found a bit peculiar was the way people showed affection. We rarely saw men and women (whether married or dating) holding hands. Or even walking together for that matter. Generally, it was groups of males together and groups of females. Usually several were holding hands, with fingers laced together and all. No way a guy here would lace his fingers with his buddy to walk down the street. Sometimes just the pinkies linked together. Arms hooked, the way middle school girls walk together. Or the arm around the shoulder, which always makes walking awkward.

Did anyone try this on us?
Unless you count the homeless man, no. But they are big into hand shakes, shoulder bumps and hugs. We welcomed lots of those. When a new Ethiopian entered, he’d walk around the room of sometimes 15 people and shake every hand. Even if it was someone you had met, if he is polite, he still greets each person individually. A general hello and wave to the small crowd just isn’t good enough.

What do they wear? These questions will start to get boring now because I’m stretching to think of anything you might want to know.
Well, there’s the blazing sun, so you’d think people would be dressed for something close to summertime. Nope. While I donned tank tops and short sleeves, they were covered literally from neck to toe. Sometimes even head to toe. And, it seems layering is popular as well. So, full body covering plus shirts hanging out underneath and jackets on top. I’m wondering if the boys are absolutely going to freeze here.

Are the boys excited about Simon?
Who wouldn’t be, right? He’s adorable, has a great personality and, in general, is just the best dog. Ever! However, they showed no interest in the pictures of him, even after the interpreter attempted to convey how much fun he would be. We later heard that Ethiopians don’t hold dogs in the same regard as we do. So, it may seem strange to them for Simon to join us in their everyday routine. From the wake-up call in the morning to stories at bedtime, he’s right there. And, usually sprawled across us. I hope they grow to love him as we do.

When do you get to bring them home? What’s next?
Well, we were told all necessary documents should be in place by March 11, and that we would then be in line for an embassy appointment in late April. I’ll brag about that news here as soon as it arrives. No clue if that will be the actual timeline though. It seems when we do get that THE CALL, meaning the boys are cleared for travel, we will basically leave ASAP.

Why does it cost so much?
There’s the obvious. Airfare, even with two trips, is a small chunk of the grand total. Someone, or many people, are doing all of this work while we stay in the comfort of the states. They don’t work for free. Each and every document that is completed has some fee attached to it. A legit person, a.k.a. a social worker, has to give you her stamp of approval. And, it’s a pricey stamp. Even all that combined isn’t very much. The last chunk, whether to our agency or the children’s country, supports orphans in that country. Some of these kids will eventually get a family, and some won’t. So, for however long they’re in that system (orphanage or foster care), someone’s gotta foot the bill.

Couldn’t that money be used for a better cause? Or at least stay in our own country?
Um, not according to the Bible. God has given us all of us the task of caring for orphans and widows. Even calls it “true religion.” This money will not only bring our boys here, it will also be used for the care of countless other orphans.

Why has it taken so long?
As of this month, we’ve been working on it for 26 months. All I can say is that we’re dealing with the government. Theirs and ours. In the end, we will add 2 boys to our family. Plus, hopefully we have also been a catalyst in our community, an advocate of adoption, and an example of the Gospel. If you look at it that way, 26 months seems quite efficient.

What can we pray for?
The major concern at the moment is the looming government shut-down, which has been postponed until March 18. If it does occur, ALL international adoptions will be put on hold. We want to bring our boys home. As soon as possible.

2.09.2011

A View From Ethiopia...Finally, Some Pictures!!!

Finally able to post pics from Ethiopia. Keith crashed the laptop on day 2, so posting even what I did was a challenge.

Coming out of the airport with 4 tubs...18 gallons each...of donations for the orphanage. A big thanks to The Campus and Four Corners Church for helping us with them!

This is just a little shop in a string of shops on the road back from the airport.

Just another little shop along the road. Kinda made me sad.

Ethiopian scaffolding: eucalyptus trees. Stacked and held together with nails. Wanna be the worker to climb that?

A school in town. Not sure if it was independent or run by the government. We heard that most kids had to pay to go to school. And even then, they often lived too far away to walk there. Makes me appreciate my own education. Free.

When I said on Day 1 that I thought our driver was taking us to be killed on the way home from the airport, I was serious. I snapped one last shot as we turned down a gravel alley way. All I saw ahead of us was a giant pile of rocks. Great for hiding dead bodies under. Not sure why I took the picture. I was thinking if I somehow escaped, or someone at least found my camera, it would be evidence to lead them to my killer. I really should have taken a picture of my almost-killer. Needless to say, I was terrified.

The view from our balcony. Surprised we have a balcony from our stay in Ethiopia? So was I. When questioned about his method of selecting a place to stay, Keith said he just picked the most expensive place. Assuming my "needs" would be unmet elsewhere. Wait. I have needs? What needs? I'm not high maintenance.

However, this is the backyard to our left...

And this was the view to our right. Plus, they had a dog that only barked at night. Incessantly. Sweet.

Starbucks, Anyone?

Random animals on the side of the highway. The ones marked with an X have been examined by the government. So, what's stopping an animal owner from just buying a can of spray paint to approve his own animals?

Blue and white vehicles: public transportation. Pictured above, a van.

Ethiopian entertainment? Camel racing. Keith loved it!

A site of construction. More eucalyptus trees. What else should you use?

The orphanage, a view from the street. It really was a great place. Glad to have the boys there if they can't come home yet.

The first lady who performed the coffee ceremony for us. And Keith graciously accepting a cup.

The kids are "trained" to take their shoes off before entering any room where they will be sitting...classroom, bedroom, playroom. This is just outside the "Learning Room" as the sign on the door reads and also serves as their lunchroom.

Typical lunch at the orphanage. Yumm.

A poster in their classroom. I think it has Amharic and English. So, I don't have start at square 1 teaching them English. They've covered some of the basics for me. Thanks!

The fresh water tank outside. They used large cans to haul water inside. But not everyone had these tanks. Many people walked miles with yellow 3-gallon jugs...even little kids...to fetch some water. You'll see in a pic further down.

The boys' room. Probably 12 kids to a room. No clue how the nannies get them to sleep at the same time. I need to learn some tricks from them.

The site of our first meeting. The living room of the orphanage. They just celebrated Christmas. In January for Ethiopia.

The other side of the living room. The play area for the four of us. But no toys.

The front of the Tikuret Orphanage. That's the actual name. Nice place. But...

This is a glance down the street from the it.

A volcano. You probably could guess that. I was a little surprised to see it. Luckily it is dormant.

And this is where we spent a bright shiny Saturday. Those little sprigs are the trees Keith planted. And, that top right-hand window is the room where I slaved away. Acacia Village. The foster home run by our agency. It serves as a home for many kids between their court date and embassy appointment to travel home.

One of those yellow 3-gallon jugs used for carrying water home. We saw lots of little kids toting the water. Always alone.

A village of mud houses. We saw many of these.

The amazing Ethiopian church. We politely waited until after the service to snap away. The choir gathered on stage when we were dismissed.

The people in line on the right are waiting to purchase sermon or worship CDs. We joined them.

A random donkey. I swear Keith took this picture. But he is cute. I kinda wanna bring him home as my pet. Simon would be jealous. Maybe no.

A butcher shop. All you need is a slab o' beef, a knife and a place to hang the slab.

The food at the fancy restaurant. This is what the girl next to me ordered. Do you understand why I chose not to eat?

And, here is Keith's plate. Once the waitress stopped laughing at my reaction to what she brought out, she poured it into the same mix. You can see my boiled egg in the middle. And, I think the chicken leg is somewhere on the right, unless someone snagged it up. Wouldn't want that to go to waste.

Some of the entertainment from the evening. Guys and gals paraded on and off the stage in an assortment of matching costumes. This one was accompanied by the women wearing bee-keeper outfits. And, Keith's favorite were the shorts and midriff tops with fringe and beads.

Keith and Tikabe, the night-time receptionist at our guest house and Keith's best friend for the week. How long can a guy last in a room with no TV? Apparently, not long.

The station for the coffee ceremony, which was performed for us on the final day, a tradition there. The huge bowl of popcorn? Made just for me.

In the middle is Bisrat, the interpreter sent from God. The little blond is Eve, who is adopting a precious little girl. And on the end is Marty, her friend traveling with her in lieu of Eve's husband. These were the crazy gals next door that we spent the week with. I never imagined how much fun I could have in Ethiopia.

I cannot wait to go back. I will not be coming home alone.